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jt^reddie Goes to College 



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Freddie Goes to College 

A Farce in One Act 



By 
DWIGHT EVERETT WATKINS 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

1917 



9y v*.v 



4^:.^ 



^ 



Freddie Goes to College 



CHARACTERS 

(/« //le order of their appearaitce) 

•' Rusty " Rogers, bell-boy at the St. yames. 

HiKAM HuNGEKFOKD, farmer on a small farui near Cairo, Illinois. 

" Ma " HUNGERFORU, his ivife. 

" Freddie" Hungerford, their son. 

Mlle. Lillian Fleetfoot, equestrienne with the Wallenbeck 

Circles. 
Phineus T. Wallenbeck, proprietor of the Wallenbeck Circus. 



Scene. — A " Room with Bath" in the Hotel St. James, Col - 
legetown, 111. 

Time. — 10:30 a. m., May 15th (Circus Day). 



Note 

If the costume of the equestrienne should not be entirely suit- 
able for a presentation by amateurs, it could easily be changed to 
a " riding costume." This would necessitate a change in the line 
about the " pepium " on the waist, but this is easily done. 




Copyright, 191 7, hy Dwight Everett Watkins 
As author and proprietor 

All rights reservecQ q| q 4 y 3 j ^ 

NOV 12 1917 
TMPS2-007537 



Freddie Goes to College 



SCENE. — The scene is laid in an ordinary " room with 
hath " in a fireproof modem hotel. The furniture is 
mahogany except the bed, which is brass, and the 
carpet and the walls are done in blue. There is a door 
L., opening into the hall, and another at the l. of the 
back, up stage, opening into the bath room. To the 
R. back, up stage, is a practicable window, opening 
upon the street. This windozv has a shade and white 
lace curtains. To the r. is a door opening into a closet. 
At the c. back is the brass bed, the foot facing the 
audience, below which is a suit-case rack. To the l., 
dozvn stage, from the door opening into the hall is a 
regidar hotel writing desk {patented) , with small chair 
in front of it. The desk has a drawer that pidls out, 
on which is a lid that can be raised up. There are 
pens, several varieties of stationery, telegraph blanks, 
ink, a penholder, blotter, etc. To the r., almost op- 
posite the desk, hiit a little farther up stage, is the 
dresser. Upon it is the match holder with safety 
matches, the Bible " placed, in this hotel by the 
Gideons," a pincushion with pins, needles, thread, a 
pants button, a pearl button or tzvo, etc. At the win- 
dow R., up stage, is a rocking-chair. To the other side 
of the window is a costumer. The shade at the windozv 
is drawn dozvn. Over the bed is a picture of some 
scene from Shakespeare. On the zvriting desk is a 
picture of an old-fashioned New England home at 
twilight — the windozvs ablaze and a sleigh drawing up. 
On the back of the door is the usual extract from the 



4 FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 

Siate Hotel lazv. Doivn stage from the writing desk 
is a spittoon, very tall and made of brass. Beside the 
door to the hall is the notice "Stop! Have you left 
anything'^ " On the dresser is a menu card of the 
Hotel Cafe ; also ice-water pitcher and a glass. Near 
the door is a telephone. 

{As the curtain rises, there is heard a severe thunder- 
storm raging outside. Flashes of lightning are seen 
through the chinks about the zvindoiv r. Soon there 
is heard the rattle of a key in. the door, and the voice 
of " Rusty " Rogers is heard outside.) 

Rusty (a freckled faced, red headed boy of about 
fourteen years). Sure this is the right one — 273 — 274 — 
Yep. This is it! {The door suddenly flies open and 
Rusty appears with three old-fashioned valises. He 
holds one under his arm and one in the hand on the same 
side; the other lies upon the floor at his feet. He holds 
the tivo cases — having allowed the key to stick in the key- 
hole — and reaches in and turns on the lights. He then 
picks up the other valise and rushes madly into the room 
and deposits them roughly on the rack at the foot of the 
bed. He then,' rushes over to the xvindozv and runs up 
the sJiade — it is still quite dark from the thunder shotver. 
He then turns on the lights by the dresser and zvriting 
desk. In the meantime Hiram Hungerford and " Ma" 
HuNGERFORD Jwz'c couic in. HiRAM is tall, lanky, has a 
seamed and sallozu face, zvears an old mackintosh and 
carries an old umbrella. H is zvct. So is his old slouch 
hat zvhich he still has on. He is the conventional " rube " 
character. " Ma " Hungerford is a short, round- 
shoiddered little zvoman. She dresses in black, zvears an 
old-fashioned zvafer-proof cape, and carries a hand-bag. 
She wears glasses zvith very thick lenses and has trouble 
seeing, often looking over her glasses or lifting them up. 
She and her husband are about sixty-five years of age. 
HiRAiM and his zvife haz'e just about arrived in the center 
of the roam zvhen Rusty has reached the windozv on the 
opposite side. Rusty turns on the lights at the dresser 
and writing desk as he comes hack and then goes into the 



FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 5 

balh room and turns on the light there. He then turns 
to Hiram.) Anything else, sir? 

Hiram. What's that, young man? 

Rusty. Anything else, sir? 

Ma. What does he want, Hiram ? 

Hiram. Durned if I know. Talk plain, young man. 

Rusty. Would you like anything else, sir? 

Hiram. Well, I dunno. What d'ye bring? 

(Rusty starts across the room and picks up pitcher off 
of the dresser.) 

Ma. Where's he goin' with that, Hiram? 
Hiram. Young man ! 
Rusty (turning). Yes, sir. 

Hiram. You put that pitcher right back where you 
got it. 

(He starts back.) 

Ma. We want you to understand we're just as good 
as other people. Our son Fred paid for this room and we 
don't want nothin' taken out of here that belongs here. 

(Rusty replaces pitcher on the dresser and retires to 
the door, where he stands waiting. Hiram turns 
away, takes off his coat and hat and lays them on the 
bed. His wet umbrella he lays upon the dresser. 
Ma throws off her cape on the chair by the zvriting 
desk and puts her hat on her cape. Rusty still 
stands at the door. Hiram turns and sees him.) 

Hiram. Wall, what ye waitin' for now? 

Rusty. Nothing, sir. 

Hiram. Wall, take it and get out! (Rusty puts the 
key on the inside of the door and goes out slamming the 
door. Ma locks the door, turns to c. of room just as 
Hiram gets there. He embraces her and then looks dozvn 
into her face.) Alone at last! 

(They both smile and then he gives her a little squeeze 
and kisses her.) 

Ma (looking around) . Ain't this just a blue paradise ? 



O FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 

Hiram {taking her head in his hands and kissing her). 
Excuse me ! 

Ma (with mock roguishness looking up into his face). 
What will people say? 

Hiram {looking about). This ain't a House of Glass. 

Ma. I know, but let's see what's the weather. 

{She struggles to get loose, but he holds her tight.) 

Hiram {again taking her face in his hands, and look- 
ing dozvn into her eyes). Fair {pointing to Ma) and 
warmer. {Points to self. Then he hugs her.) 

Ma {trying to break away). Oh, you silly! What 
time is it? 

Hiram. Now you look here — look here ! You know 
that watch is in my vest pocket bang up against your side 
and you just asked me that just to make me let go. I 
don't suppose any man ever hugged any woman but what 
right in the midst of it she asked what time it was. 

Ma {breaking away, and going to window). I wonder 
if you can see the college from here. 

{By this time it has become broad daylight, and the 
sun is out. Seen through the zvindow.) 

Hiram {at zvriting desk, inspecting it). I dunno. 
You might try it, and then if you can, probably I can. 

Ma {at ivindozv). Oh, Hiram, come here! You can 
see it. 

Hiram. Where? 

Ma (pointing). Right over there, that building with 
dome all over gold, and that lady on top holding up them 
scales o' knowledge. (She looks out the zvindow rather 
in reverie.) " And many shall be weighed in the balance 
and found wanting." That's just what Fred said in a let- 
ter he wrote just before his examinations. (Trombone 
horn heard, that suddenly gives a squawk and stops.) 
And oh, Hiram, come here ! There's a fellow down here 
has fallen ofif his bicycle and got all over mud and the 
people are all laughing at him. 

Hiram. What's that? (He conies to the zvindow.) 

Ma. And what's that he's got in his hand? Oh, it's 



FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 7 

a horn and he's got it all over mud too ! Poor fellow ! 
Look, he's trying to get on his bicycle again. Oh, there 
he goes again right in that puddle ! And just look at 
those people laughing at him. 

Hiram. Why, that's one o' them circus clowns ! And 
look at him, look at him ! Lookitim ! He's ridin' with- 
out hangin' onto the handle bars, and now he's goin' to 
play his horn. {Horn heard and then it suddenly stops.) 
Ha! Ha! Ha! (Hiram laughs vigorously.) Did you 
see that? Ran square into that man sellin' balloons. 

Ma. Oh, Hiram ! You oughtn't to laugh at him. 
That's cruel. 

Hiram. Oh, shucks ! He gets paid fer it ! Some o' 
them fellers gets more fer their durn fool tricks than a 
good hired man kin git on a farm. {Comes away from 
the window.) What time did Fred say in his letter he'd 
be here? 

Ma {turning). What's that? 

Hiram. I say, what time did Fred say in his letter 
he'd be here? 

Ma {coming away from zvindow). Why, Hiram 
Hungerford, look here what you've done ! 

Hiram. What? 

Ma. ^ You've gone and laid your wet umbrell right on 
this shiny dresser. 

{She takes it up and looks around for a place to put it. 
She wipes off the dresser with a handkerchief from 
her hand-bag. Finally she takes umbrella in the bath 
room, while Hiram busies himself at the writing 
desk. After a long pause, when Ma does not come 
out of the bath room, Hiram speaks.) 

Hiram. Ma! 

Ma. Yes ! 

Hiram. What time did you say Fred was comin'? 

Ma {rather indistinctly) . I don't just exactly remem- 
ber whether it was a quarter to eleven or a quarter past 
eleven. 

Hiram. What's that? 



8 FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 

Ma. I say I don't exactly remember whether it was a 
quarter to eleven or a quarter past eleven. 

Hiram. I can't hear a durned word you say. What' re 
ye doin' in there anyhow? 

Ma. Smell in' the soap. 

Hiram. What? 

Ma {appearing in the doorzvay, in her corset cover, 
wiping her hands on a tozvcl and smelling them). Smell- 
in' the soap ! You ought to just come and smell it, 
Hiram; it's just like a " bokay " of roses or sassafras 
roots. 

Hiram. Oh, shucks on yer sassafras soap! What 
time is Fred a-comin' ? 

Ma. I tell ye I don't know, Hiram. I'll have to look 
in one o' them letters. 

{She goes to her valise, opens it, and begins to take 
things out.) 

Hiram. Well, you certain brung enough clothes along, 
didn't ye? What did ye bring all that white truck fer? 

Ma. Well, you can't never tell. There might be a 
wreck goin' back and I always have said that if I was to 
be killed in a wreck I wanted to be sure all my under- 
clothes was clean. Oh, here they are ! {She produces a 
pack of letters.) Here's his last one right on top ! {She 
borroivs Hiram's spectacles and unties the blue ribbon 
and opens the top letter. She has a hard time seeing it 
and looks up tozvard the light.) Why, Hiram, them 
lamps is a-burnin'. You better put 'em right out. We 
oughtn't to be burnin' their lamps right in broad daylight ! 

Hiram. That's so ! Them lamps is burnin'. I specks 
they lit 'em up during that thunder-storm. {He looks 
at them carefully, head on side.) Them's 'lectric lights, 
ain't they? I wonder where you turn 'em off. {Here 
he gets the valises on the floor off the rack and climbs up 
on the rack so as to reach the chandelier. He tries all the 
ornaments and can't turn them off.) Well, I be durned! 
There don't seem to be any place to turn 'em off. 

Ma. There's a little screw away up there by the ceil- 
ing. Maybe that does something. 



FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 9 

Hiram. Durned unhandy up there, I sh'd think. 

Ma. Yes, but maybe they put it up there so people 
won't turn 'em on so often. Better try it anyhow, Hiram. 

Hiram. Well, you kind o' hang onto me, and I'll try 
what I kin do. {Here comedy business of Hiram trying 
to balance himself on his knees on the round brass foot- 
board of the bed, with Ma trying to keep him from fall- 
ing. Finally he gives up.) Nope! That thing don't 
turn. They wouldn't put it away up there anyway. It 
must be somewhere right close to the light here. 

(He looks the chandelier over carefully again and tries 
to turn various projections on it.) 

Ma. Maybe you'd better tell Mr. St. James about it. 

Hiram. Who's Mr. St. James? (Vexedly.) 

Ma. Why, the proprietor. This is the St. James 
Hotel, ain't it? (Another pause.) He was an awful 
nice young man. He'd just as soon tell you as not. 

Hiram. Well, now, do you suppose I want to run 
around here telling everybody I don't know how to turn 
off a little fool 'lectric light? 

Ma. Maybe that thing over by the door has something 
to do with it. 

Hiram. What's that? (He looks.) 

Ma. I say maybe that thing over by the door has 
something to do with it. 

Hiram. Why, that's a telephone. Just like Jake 
Simpson's got down to the general store. 

Ma. Oh, I don't mean that. I mean that brass thing 
right under it. 

Hiram (getting down). Well, now, mavbe that has. 
I'll see. 

Ma. Now, Hiram, don't touch it till you're sure ! 
(Hiram walks toward the switch. Ma suddenly 
screams.) Oh, Hiram, wait a minute! That might be a 
fire alarm. Don't touch it till I git my clothes on. I 
don't want no firemen comin' in here and catchin' me 
like this. (She rushes into hath room and brings her 
waist out. She gives Hiram his spectacles and puts on 



10 FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 

her own, and then slips on her waist. ) Now wait, Hiram, 
till I git these things ready. 

(She begins stuffing her underclothes back into the 
bag.) 

Hiram. Don't look to me like it turned at all. {Tries 
it gently.) It's got a spring in it, though. It does some- 
fin or other. 

Ma. Oh, wait, Hiram! Maybe it rings a bell. 
What'll we say we want when they come? 

(She plucks his arm.) 

Hiram. What's that? 

Ma. I say what'll we tell 'em we want when they 
come? Oh, I know. You can tell 'em I've got a head- 
ache and ask if they've got a bottle of camphire about 
the place. Wait a minute ! Wait a minute ! (She 
rushes back to the valise and gets out a towel and folds 
it about her head. She then goes to Hiram.) You pin 
it. Now you wait till I get ready. (She goes to the bed 
and turns dozun the covers.) If it's a bell I want to git 
right into bed, and if it's a fire I want to be ready to 
yank this thing right off and put it back into my valise. 
All ready! 

(Hiram pushes the button and the lights go out. Ma 
and Hiram both laugh.) 

Hiram. Ain't that slick though? 

Ma. And to think we was so scared to touch it. 

(She takes off the bandage. Hiram turns the lights 
on again.) 

Hiram. Gee, ain't that slick? (Both stand watching 
the lights go on and off.) If a feller just had the thunder 
now, he could have quite a thunder and lightning storm, 
couldn't he? 

Ma (turning to lamp by dresser). But look, Hiram, 
them's a-burnin' steady. 

Hiraini. By jing, that's right. I wonder where the 
thing-a-ma-jig is to turn them out. 

(He goes to the dresser lights.) 



FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE II 

Ma. Now be careful, Hiram; don't break nothin'. 

Hiram. Oh, these are easy. Here's the thing you 
turn right here. See! (He turns out one light.) 

Ma. Now turn it on! (Hiram turns the key back- 
wards, and of course unscrews the button, which falls to 
the floor.) Now, I told you, Hiram, not to break nothin'. 
Like as not that'll cost us four or five dollars. 

HiRAM. Oh, shet up! It ain't nothin' but a screw. 
They don't cost more'n a nickel. 

(He gets dozvn on Jiis hands and knees and hunts for 
the button. Finally she gets dotvn and helps. She 
pidls up her skirt to save it. Just as they are both 
very interested, the telephone rings. They are both 
very startled. Ma jumps up.) 

Ma. What's that? (Pause. Then telephone rings 
again.) They's some one at the door, Hiram. Turn off 
them other lights quick so they won't find 'em lit. 
(Hiram turns out lights. He goes tozvard door as tele- 
phone keeps ringing.) Wait, Hiram; I don't want 'em 
to catch me this way. 

(She runs into closet. Hiram goes to door and opens 
it. Ma peeks out of closet. Hiram conies in 
again.) 

Hiram. Guess it was some other room. 

(Telephone rings again. Hiram starts and looks at 
telephone.) 

Ma (head out of closet door). Yes, it's that thing, 
Hiram. 

Hiram (taking down receiver zvith right hand and 
putting it awkzvardly to right ear). Hello! What's 
that? Yes, this is Hungerford. What's that? Yes, 
he's my son. He's going to be late? Yes. Wanted to 
see the circus parade? Oh ! Going right by the window. 
Wants us to look at it? Why, say, where is Fred now? 
Oh, why say — say Huh, I guess she's gone. 

Ma. Who was it, Hiram? 

Hiram. Dinged if I know. Some girl, sounded like. 
She said Fred had left word he'd be late cause he wanted 



12 FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 

to see the circus parade. Said it was going right by our 
window and we could see it. 

A4a. I wonder what girl Fred could be that familiar 
with. Where was she, Hiram ? 

Hiram. I dunno. I specks at some store up by the 
college. I wonder if it's comin' now. {He goes to 
window.) Gosh, ain't this luck? I tell you what, ma, 
we'll all go to the circus together this afternoon. Come 
to think about it, Fred ain't never yet been to a real big 
circus. 

Ma. Why, Hiram, you wouldn't take him to one o' 
them immoral things, would yuh ? And what would 
people say back home if they sh'd see me at such a place? 

Hiram. Why, they ain't nothin' very wrong with a 
circus. 

{During the following dialogue, Ma may he busy with 
putting her clothes on the clothes hangers.) 

Ma. Why, Hiram Hungerford ! Ain't you never seen 
them big red pictures they stick all over the country near 
Cairo every summer — them women walking ropes and 
swinging in trapesiums all dressed up in — in 

Hiram. Yes, and Fred and me could o' gone to many 
a circus if you hadn't 'a' been so ding blasted stingy o' the 
back side o' the barn ! 

Ma. Now, Hiram, don't let's spoil our little trip by 
bein' quarrelsome. 

Hiram. Well, who started it? 

Ma. You did. 

Hiram. What's that? / started it? 

Ma. Yes. 

Hiram. / started it? {He hrozvheats her.) 

Ma. Well, Fred did then. {Gives in.) 

Hiram. Well. {Pause.) What you hangin' up all 
yer clothes on them things fer? 

Ma. I wants yer to understand, Hiram Hungerford, 
that my clothes ain't never been hung on swell hangers 
like these, an' I just wants 'em to have the esperience. 

Hiram {after a pause). Well, now if you're got all 
yer work done, you might read that last letter o' Fred's. 



FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE I3 

Ma. That's so. I forgot all about that letter in all 
this excitement. {She gets the letters and in her trem- 
bling lets them fall, mixing them all up. She puts them 
together in a pack, picking up the blue ribbon. She goes 
to the writing desk, pulls out the chair, turns on the light, 
and begins opening them and reading a little from each. 
After reading to herself from two or three, she speaks.) 
Oh, Hiram, here's the lirst letter P'red wrote after he left 
home. Fred was such a good boy ! Just listen : " Dear 
Pa and Ma : This is my first Sunday away from home, 
and I can tell you I am lonesome. I know you would 
not like to have me break the Sabbath by working on my 
lessons, and it has been hard to fill up the day. I went 
over to the First Congregational Church for the morning 
service and Dr. McGrath preached from that text in the 
book of Psalms, I forget whether it is the 109th or the 
119th Psalm. 'Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse 
his way.' " Which psalm is that text in, Hiram? 

Hiram. The 109th. 

Ma. It isn't either. 

{She gets up and goes toward the dresser.) 

Hiram. Well, what did ye ask me fer? 

Ma {she gets to the dresser. She reads from the front 
of the Gideon Bible). "Placed in this hotel by the 
Gideons." Mr. and Mrs. Gideon must be awful nice 
people — (pause) so thoughtful in them to place the Bible 
where people is always away from home and haven't 
got their Bibles with 'em. (Pause.) Yes, Hiram, here 
it is in the ii9tli. "Wherewithal shall a young man 
cleanse his way ; by taking heed thereto according to thy 
word." Let's see what else he says: " It was an awful 
good sermon and at the close of it he invited all the 
new students to take an interest in the Christian En- 
deavor. I think I'll go over this evening." And then he 
goes on about his lessons. I guess he don't like his 
mathematics very well. He's always writing about that 
bein' so hard fer him. (She puts up the letter.) And 
here's the one about the revival,, Hiram. That was just 
the prettiest letter a boy ever wrote. I cried over it 



14 FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 

every night fer a week. It brings tears to my eyes just 
to think about it now. Just hsten, Hiram ; ain't this fine 
writing? " Ma, it was the grandest meetin' I ever was 
to. The Armery was packed clear plum full back to 
the doors, and up front was the great big choir, and on 
the platform was all the ministers of the city, some 
twenty or thirty, and the Salvation Army man was there 
with his uniform on, and there was a little pen fenced off 
for Mr. Campman and Mr. Celander. And toward the 
end, Mr. Celander started his big choir to singing, ' I am 
comin' home to-day, to-day,' and they sang it awful 
soft and Mr. Campman would say stand up, stand up, 
you kin do it. And they kept standin' up all over the 
house, and I stood up too. And then we had an after- 
meetin' and had prayer and we're all going to join the 
church next month." I tell you, Hiram, nothin' ever 
done me so much good as that letter. I've prayed and 
prayed that my boy would go forward and now he's 
done it. (She cries.) 

Hiram. There, ma, don't work yourself all up over 
that again. (Tenderly.) Fred'll turn out all right. 

Ma. Yes, I s'pose he will, but it's awful nice to think 
yer boy has at last come into the fold. 

(Here band music is heard in the distance.) 

Hiram. Here the parade comes now! (He rushes 
to the windozv and Ma foUozvs him hurriedly, packing the 
letters together and laying them on the writing desk.) 
Gee ! It's a long one. You can't see the end of it ! 
(They lean out of the tvindotv.) See, there's the owner 
ridin' ahead behind that fine team o' sorrels. Ain't them 
fine horses? And there's the eequine wonders ridin' 
right behind him. And there's the band wagin. 

Ma. Why, Hiram, them's ladies, ain't they? 

Hiram. Where ? 

Ma. Right behind the owner's carriage. And they're 
ridin' straddle, ain't they? 

Hiram. They do look kind o' like it. 

Ma. No, they ain't all ladies. Some o' them is men. 
Why, the brazen creatures, they ain't got any skirts on at 
all. And look, Hiram, one o' them men is wavin' up here. 



FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE I5 

Hiram. By jing, I guess he is! (Hiram waves.) 
Ma. Looks kind o' like our Fred, don't he ? 
Hiram. Does that ! Look, there come the elephants. 
Ain't that first feller a big one ? 

Ma. There, Hiram, that man's wavin' again. 

(Hiram waves hack.) 

Hiram. By jing, that does look like Fred — rides like 
Fred, too. By jing, that is Fred. How do you suppose 
he got in this here parade — worked his way in ? Them's 
mighty fine clothes he's got on! Huh! {Wonder.) 
And there's the camels. 

Ma. No, it can't be. He's been up at college all 
morning, Hiram. He wrote he had to be at Chapel at 
eleven o'clock, and that's why he couldn't meet us at the 
train. 

Hiram. And there's the lions — got ten horses on 'em. 
And gee, ain't them fine horses ? That there leadin' team 
looks just like that team o' grays Fred and me fatted up 
and sold to old Jim Blood to take down the river. 
{Pause. Band heard playing.) And there's the jaguars. 
Say, them's fine horses too. I jing, if they don't know 
how to take care o' horses about as well as Fred does. 

Ma. And there's the Blood-Sweating Behemoth of 
Holy Writ. Seems almost sacrilegious, don't it, to be 
haulin' that around in a circus parade? 

Hiram. And here comes the steam calliope. (// 
starts. Chimes also heard. Hiram and Ma watch cjr- 
cus parade until out of sight.) I jing, that's a big circus, 
ain't it ? 

{He walks away from zvindow and comes toward the 
writing desk where there is a tall brass spittoon. He 
looks at it with head on one side and finally spits in it 
just as Ma turns about from the window and sees 
him do it.) 

Ma {screaming). Why, Hiram Hungerford, what are 
you doing? 

Hiram. Spittin'. 



1 6 FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 

Ma. Don't you know any belter'n that ? 
Hiram. Why? 

Ma. Why, that ain't no spittoon! That's a vase to 
put flowers in ! 

(She picks it up and rushes into the bath room zvith it. 
Hiram zualks over to the dresser and picks up menu 
card and peruses it. He lays it dozvn and sees pants 
button on the pincushion. Ma comes back wiping 
spittoon off and places it upon the writing desk. 
Hiram unbuttons vest and discloses fact that one 
pants button is off on one side.) 

Hiram. Say, ma, here's a button and some thread here 
on this cushion. Maybe you could sew on this here 
button on my trousers while we're waitin' for Fred. 

Ma. Do you s'pose we better take it? Maybe them 
things belongs to Mrs. St. James. 

Hiram. Oh, shucks! They ain't nothin' else o' hern 
here. Like as not she puts them out here just purpose 
for folks as loses their buttons. 

Ma. Well, if you say so ; maybe it's all right. (Hiram 
pidls out chair from writing desk and straddles it with 
back to audience, having removed his coat. Ma pidls up 
the rocker and begins sezuitig on the button. After sezv- 
ing for a zvhile. ) Do you suppose that was Fred in that 
parade ? 

Hiram. Looked mighty like him. 

Ma. You don't suppose he would do a thing like that, 
do you? 

Hiram. Well, you can't always tell what a young 
feller'U do when he gets away from home influences. 

Ma. And he was ridin' right in with them women 
without any skirts on. 

Hiram. Well, I s'pose when you work yer way into 
a circus, you has to ride where they tells you to. 

Ma. And that girl callin' up over the telephone. 
Somehow I can't help thinkin' things ain't quite as they 
should be with Fred. 

Hiram. Oh, it's just yotu- imagination. 

Ma. And then his sendin' us to this hotel, 'cause as he 



FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 1 7 

said they was all full at the boardin' house. I never yet 
saw a boardin' house where they couldn't make room for 
one or two more, and especially as them was his pa and 
ma. {She deliberately sticks him with the needle.) 

Hiram. Ouch ! 

Ma. Well, sit around here, then ! 

(Suddenly the door bursts open and Freddie enters, 
dressed in a pink satin suit from plug hat to slippers, 
knee-breeches. He is beaming all over. He carries 
a short riding whip. Jitst behind him is a young 
lady dressed in cream tights, high black boots, a 
striped orange and black blouse, and wearing a black 
jockey cap with an orange bow upon it. She also 
carries a short riding whip. She stays by the door 
just inside, smiling, as Freddie makes his first beam- 
ing entrance.) 

Freddie. Well, hello, pa. (Rushes over and shakes 
hands. Hiram does it mechanically.) And hello, ma. 
(Embraces her vehemently. Ma is also dumbfounded.) 
What do you think of your son Freddie? (He struts 
about in his pink suit.) And (stepping over to the door) 
allow me to introduce Mademoiselle Lillian Fleetfoot, 
premiere equestrienne of the world, otherwise Mrs. Fred 
Hungerford. 

Lillian (rushing up to Hiram and putting her arms 
about him). Oh, you dear papa. Fred has been telling 
me ever so much — all about you. And (going to Ma) 
dear mamma (embracing and kissing her), you don't 
know what a dear good boy Fred is ! 

Hiram. Now, see here, Fred, what does all this 
mean ? 

Lillian (crossing to Freddie). Oh, now, papa, don't 
be hard on Freddie. 

(She puts arm about Freddie at writing desk.) 
Hiram. Is she your wife? 
Ma (aside). The horrid creature. 
Freddie. Yep. Just as I said. 
Ma. Not even a peplum on her waist t 
Hiram. When did you marry her? 



1 8 FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 

Freddie. Just a month ago to-day (turning to 
Lillian ) and the honeymoon isn't over yet, is it, dearie ? 

(They kiss.) 

Ma. Oh, Fred, how could you do it ! 

Freddie (to Lillian). You better run along now 
and get ready for lunch. I don't think ma likes these 
clothes. 

Hiram. And where was you a month ago? 

Lillian. Good-by, papa. Good-by, mother. I'll be 
back in a jiffy. [Exit. 

Ma. Mother ! 

Hiram. Where was you, I say, a month ago? 

Freddie (singing and imitating the playing of a guitar 
or banjo). On the banks of the Wabash far away. 

Hiram. Now see here, I want this foolin' stopped! 
Where was you a month ago? 

Freddie. Just as I said. On the banks of the Wa- 
bash — just leavin' winter quarters. 

Hiram. And you been with this circus this hull last 
month ? 

Freddie. You bet — and then some. 

Ma. Why, Fred, who 

Hiram (to Ma). Now you keep out o' this. (To 
Freddie.) And then some, eh? How much some f 

Freddie. Ever since last fall. 

Ma (aside). Last fall ! (She sits in the rocker.) 

Freddie (getting up and trying to get his father to sit 
down). Say, pa, now you sit right down and Fll tell you 
all about it. 

Hiram (refusing). Get out, you little fool ! 

Freddie. Well, stand up, then, and take it like a man. 
(He sits hack on the writing desk.) You see it was this 
way, pa. You know the day I left home, you and ma 
took me down to the depot in the morning to take the 
train over to the Junction? 

Hiram. Yes ! 

Freddie. Well, I went oVer to the Junction all right — 
and that's as near as I ever got to college. 

Ma. What! 



FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE IQ 

Hiram. Keep still now. Let the boy tell it. {To 
Freddie. ) Well, what did you do at the Junction ? 

Freddie. Well, you know my train didn't leave till 
about five o'clock and this circus was in town, so I 
thought I'd go out to the circus grounds to while away 
the time. 

Hiram. How long did you stay out there? 

Freddie. Well, you see it was about half -past twelve 
when I got out there and it wasn't time for the show yet, 
and I stood around in front of the side-show tent, and 
there was a crowd o' fellers around a man with three 
walnut shells and a black pea. 

Hiram. Well, what about the feller with the black 
pea? 

Freddie. Well, you see, they -was a lot o' fellers 
betting on what shell that pea was under, and you could 
see, if you scrooched down a little, just where it went 
every time. One feller won ten dollars right while I 
was lookin' at him. So I thought Fd try. I missed it the 
first time, but I thought sure I had it the second time, 
so I bet the hull of the twenty-five I had left on it — and, 
of course, I lost. 

Hiram. You bet all the money I gave you that morn- 
ing on that shell game ? 

Freddie. Well, I didn't know I was goin' to lose it, 
did I? 

Hiram. Well, go on. 

Freddie. Well, you see, then I didn't have any money 
to buy a ticket up here, and didn't have any money to 
pay my board and room if I did get up here — and I 
couldn't write home and tell you what I did with the 
money — so the only thing I could do was to go to work. 

Hiram. Well, what did you go to work at? 

Freddie. Well, I was a-walkin' round back o' the 
horse-tent a-thinkin' what Fd better do, when a big feller 
steps up and, savs he, " Do you know how to curry a 
horse ? " " Do I," says L " Show me to it." Well, he 
took me around to where there was the prettiest horse 
you ever sit eyes on — one o' these Arabian horses, you 
know — and says he, " You curry off that horse before 



20 FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 

2 P. M. and do it right and I'll give you a job at fifteen 
per." Well, I went at it and when the boss comes around 
at 2 p. M. he says, " Who's been getting this horse ready 
to-day ? " says he. Then the big feller, he pointed to me. 
" Did you curry this horse ? " he says to me, and I nodded. 
"Do you want a job?" he says. "I got one," I says. 
" Have you hired him? " he says to the big fellow. Then 
he told him he had, and the boss said, " That's all right, 
only make it twenty." So I was hired out to the show. 

Ma. And you been with this circus all this year? 

Freddie. Yep, every day. 

Ma. But, Fred, who wrote them letters? 

Hiram. Yes, who wrote them letters we been a- 
gettin' ? 

Freddie {laughing). Ha! Ha! Those letters. Well, 
I wrote some o' them and Billy Jones wrote the rest. 
Some I wrote and sent to him to mail and some he wrote 
and had me copy and send back to him. 

Ma. Then you didn't go to the revival meetin's, nor 
go forward, nor anything. 

Fkeddie. No, ma, I confess I didn't. I kind o' 
thought you'd like to hear that, and so I made it all up 
from the reports o' the meetings in the college paper that 
Bill sent me. 

Hiram. And what did you do with that thirty-five 
dollars we sent you every month ? 

Freddie {opening pockethook and producing roll of 
bills). There it is, pa. Every cent of it! You see I 
didn't have the heart to spend it, knowin' how hard you 
and ma had to work to get it — and I couldn't send it back 
'cause that would give the whole thing away. 

{Gives it to him.) 

Hiram. Well, you seem to be honest, anyway, if you 
are a bit loose in your relations wnth wnmrnen. Now tell 
me about this girl you got with yuh. 

Freddie. Better let father do that. Here he is now. 
Come in, father. Meet my pa — Mr. Wallenbeck, pro- 
prietor of the World's Greatest Shows ! 

Wallenbeck. How do you do, Mr. Hungerford? 



FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 21 

Freddie. And mother ! Mr. Wallenbeck. 

Wallenbeck. How do you do, Mrs. Hungerford? 

Ma (Wallenbeck has evidently made a good impres- 
sion). How do you do, Mr. Wallenbeck? 

Wallenbeck. So you found 'em, eh, Fred? 

Freddie. Yes, and I got it all out except about Lillian, 
and I thought I better let you tell 'em that. 

Wallenbeck. What do they want to know about 
Lillian? 

Freddie. Well, how it all started and all that. You 
go ahead and tell 'em all they want to know, while I go 
get ready for lunch. [Exit. 

Ma. Yes, tell us all about it, Mr. Wallenbeck. 

(Wallenbeck lights a cigar and starts to throw the 
match zvhere the spittoon ought to he when he sees 
it upon the writing desk.) 

Wallenbeck. Hello! Quite a vase, isn't it? 

Ma. Yes, Mr. Wallenbeck. I want to tell you a joke 
on Mr. Hungerford. {She crosses Hiram to Wallen- 
beck and speaks rather low.) He saw it on the floor 
right down there and thought it was a spittoon and was 
goin' to spit in it ! 

Wallenbeck. Well, well, he ought to 'a' known 
better'n that, hadn't he? {He goes over to the zvindow 
and throws the match out. Comes back and slaps Hun- 
gerford on the shoidder.) Well, Hungerford, I must 
say that boy o' yours is certainly a wizard when it comes 
to horses. {Shakes hands.) Have a cigar. 

Hiram {looking at Ma). No, I'm chewin'. 

Wallenbeck. S'pose he told you how he happened to 
git the job with the show. 

Ma. Yes, he told us that. 

Wallenbeck. Well, do you know, he could do more 
with those horses of mine than any ten men I ever had. 
Any horse he touched began to pick right up right away. 
So I says to him one day, " I'm goin' to make you Super- 
intendent of Stables." " All right," says he. " I'll do 
all I can." And believe me, he did do some. When it 



22 FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 

came time to go into winter quarters I just couldn't let 
him go, so I held him over. 

Hiram. What'd I tell ye, ma? I said them horses 
looked as if Fred had taken care o' them. 

Wallenbeck. So you noticed that, did yuh? {Puffs 
at cigar.) And then you know he's got an awful nice 
disposition, that boy Fred. I used to invite him over to 
the house once in a while for dinner — sort of a healthy 
optimistic chap, you know — always liked to have him 
around. 

Ma. Yes, Fred always was a nice boy. 

Wallenbeck. Well, that's how it all happened. 
Lillian got to kind o' liking him and I told her frankly 
the family couldn't take in any one that would be more 
worth to the show business than Master Freddie Hunger- 
ford. And so they fixed it up just before we started out 
on this season's tour. 

Hiram. And is that girl that was in here your 
daughter ? 

Wallenbeck. Sure! Why not? I tell you, you 
ought to see that girl ride! {Enter Lillian in an at- 
tractive gown.) Why hello, Lillian, come here and tell 
your new papa how you can ride. 

Lillian {going to her father and allowing her hand 
to rest affectionately on her father's shoulder). Oh, 
father, you know I ride just miserably. 

Wallenbeck. Yes, sir, I tell you, Hungerford, there's 
just one woman that ever lived that could best Lillian on 
a horse. 

Lillian. And was that mother, father? 

Wallenbeck (a touch of pathos in his voice). Yes, 
dear, that was your mother. {To the Hungerfords.) 
A jealous rider in the next ring bribed the man with the 
hoops to trip her one day and she fell, never to ride again. 
{Recovering; to Lillian.) But Fve got you now, and 
unless your own husband goes back on you, you won't 
get tripped with the hoops anyway. How do you like 
your new daughter, Mrs. Hungerford? 

Ma. Well, I like her better in that dress. 

Wallenbeck. Ha! Ha! Of course, but then you 



FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 23 

can't be bothered with filmy petticoats, you know, when 
you're turnin' double somersaults on a gallopin' horse, 
can you, Lilly ? But say, let's go down to lunch. What 
time does your train leave ? 

Ma. 'Bout five o'clock, isn't it, Hiram? 

Wallenbeck. The 5:20, eh? Well, say, you folks 
better pack up right now and take your luggage down 
with you. Then you can go right from lunch out to 
the circus, and Fred can bring you back in his car and 
take you right to the train. 

(Lillian may help Ma pack up.) 

Hiram. Has Fred got a car? 

Wallenbeck. Sure! He's got everything the old 
man has ; and nothin's too good for the old man ! 

Ma {who has begun to be strenuously busy packing 
up). Do you s'pose Mr. St. James would care if I took 
this cake o' soap along? I ain't used much of it and it 
seems a shame to throw such good soap away. Yet I 
suppose no one would want to wash with it after we had 
been in here. 

Wallenbeck (a bit startled). Mr. St. James? Oh, 
I don't know about that, but I think it will be all right. 

Ma. And Hiram didn't use any o' his. Do you s'pose 
it would be all right to take that along, too ? 

Wallenbeck. Sure, oh, sure ! That's what all o' 
these things around here are for — to carry away. I knew 
a college professor once that wrote letters all year on 
the stationery he got from hotels on his summer vaca- 
tion. (Ma gets stationery from out of writing desk, and 
all the other loose things about the room disappear. 
Wallenbeck watches her with delight.) How big a 
farm have you got down there at Cairo, Hungerford? 

Hiram. Oh, about forty acres. 

Wallenbeck. Is it clear? Clear of any mortgage? 

Hiram. Well, there's a little mortgage of about three 
thousand agin it yit, I guess. 

Wallenbeck. Ever occur to you that maybe there 
wasn't? 

Hiram. What's that? 



24- FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 

Wallenbeck. I say, did it ever occur to you that 
maybe there wasn't any mortgage against it ? Read that 
over. {He hands over legal paper.) 

Ma. What's that, Hiram? 

Hiram. Well, it looks as though Fred had paid off 
the mortgage. 

Ma {breaking down). Oh, Hiram — after all these 
years! {She buries her head on Hiram's shoidder.) 

Freddie {entering in street clothes). All ready! 

Wallenbeck. Sh ! 

(Lillian puts finger to lips.) 

Freddie. What is it ? 

Wallenbeck {in low voice). The mortgage. 

Freddie. Oh, I say, ma, you don't need to feel so bad 
about it. Fact is it don't matter v^hether you own that 
farm down at Cairo or not. You ought to see my farm. 

Hiram. Your farm? 

Wallenbeck. That's right ! You ought to see Fred's 
farm. Fred's got 2,300 acres of the finest land God's 
sun ever shone on. I know, 'cause I gave it to him — 
gave it to him as a wedding gift. And say. Hunger- 
ford, you know them fine horses you saw in the parade 
this morning. Fred owns one out o' every three. Fred's 
one-third partner in the biggest show on earth and he's 
got enough land to keep you and his ma and me and my 
gal in the lap o' luxury the remainder o' our days. 

Hiram. Well, ma, I guess it didn't do any harm to 
teach Fred how to take care o' horses, did it? 

Freddie. And you don't care, ma, if I didn't go to 
college, and if I didn't go forward at the revival, and all 
that, do you ? 

Ma. Well, I don't suppose I ought to, Fred, after all 
this. 

Wallenbeck. Come along now, everybody. Gather 
up your stuff and let's go down to lunch. {Everybody 
goes out but Ma lingers behind sticking pins off the pin- 
cushion into her zuaist. Finally she comes. Wallen- 
beck stops her at the door and shows her the sign, read- 
ing it aloud.) " Stop! Have you left anything?" 



FREDDIE GOES TO COLLEGE 2$ 

Ma. Well, maybe I better take them telegrapht blanks. 
Circuses seems to move awful fast and I might want to 
send Fred some word some time. 

Wallenbeck. Ha! Ha! That's right, Mrs. Hun- 
gerford. You can't ever tell what's going to happen, 
can you? 

(They go out. He changes the key, and is heard to 
lock the door from the outside.) 

CURTAIN 



WILLOWDALE 

A Play in Three Acts by Arthur Lewis Tubbs. Seven males, five fe« 
males. Scenery, two easy interiors ; costumes, modern. This is a play ol 
exceptional interest and power. Admirably suited for amateur perform* 
ance, all the parts being good. Godfrey is an admirable heavy part, Joel, 
Lem and Simon capital character parts, Mis' Hazey a novel eccentric bit, 
and Oleander a part of screaming comedy. Plays two hours and a quarter. 
Price, 2J cents 

THE VILLAGE SCHOOL MA'AM 

A Play in Three Acts by Arthur Lewis Tubbs. Six males, five females. 
Costumes, modern ; scenes, an interior and an exterior, or can be played in 
two interiors. Plays two hours or more. Combines a strong sympathetic 
interest with an abundance of comedy. The parts are unusually equal in 
opportunity, are vigorously drawn and easily actable. No dialect parts, 
but plenty of variety in the comedy roles and lots of amusing incident 
Can be strongly recommended. Price, »S '"'"'■^ 

BAR HAVEN 

A Comedy in Three Acts by Gordan V. May. Six males, five females 
Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors and an exterior, not difficult. 
Plays two hours. An excellent piece, mingling a strongly serious interest 
with abundant humor. Offers a great variety of good parts of nearly 
equal opportunity. Admirably suited for amateur performance, and 
strongly recommended. Price, 2J cents 

DOWN IN MAINE 

A Drama in Four Acts by Charles Townsend. Eight male, four female 
characters. This play has no villains, no tangled plot nor sentimental 
love scenes ; yet the climaxes are strong, the action brisk, and the humor 
genial, and the characters strongly drawn. Can be played in any hall ; 
scenery, of the easiest sort. Properties, few and simple ; costumes, 
modern. Plays a full evening. Strongly recommended. Price, 2j cents 

HIGBEE OF HARVARD 

A Comedy Drama in Three Acts by Charles Townsend. Five males, 
four females. Modern costumes ; scenes, two interiors and an exterior — 
the latter may be played as well in an interior, if preferred. Plays a full 
evening. A clever, up-to-date piece, well suited for amateur performance. 
No small parts; all good. Good plot, full of incident, no love-making, 
interest strong and sustained. Price, /j cents 

HOW JIM MADE GOOD 

A Comedy Drama in Four Acts by Charles S. Bird. Seven males, 
three females ; two male parts can be doubled. Costumes, modern ; 
scenery, three interiors. Plays two hours. An unusually sympathetic 
play, well suited to amateurs. Clean and easy to get up. Recommended 
to high schools. All the parts are good. Price, 2J cents 



MERRY MONEY MAKERS 

A Collection of Entertainments for Church or Lodge 
Performance, Adapted to any Sect or Community 
In this volume we have assembled several entertainments calling for a 
large number of characters such as are in demand for Church and Sunday- 
School performance in order to employ the services of as many of the 
children as possible. With these are offered several other popular pieces, 
new and old. Price, 2j cents 

CONTENTS 

Samantha Snodgrass and the Ladies' The Last of the Peak Sisters, g males. 

Aid. lo/cmalcs. y ft-tiui/es. 

The Annual Picnic of the MuggsviUe The Rag Doll Party. 4 males, lo ft- 

Sunday-School. 16 males, ^^J'emalcs. males. 

Beresford Benevolent Society, i male, The Summerville Bazar. 21 males, 

7 females. 31 females. 

The Emigrants' Party. 34 males, 10 fe- 
males. 

SHORT PLAYS FOR SMALL PLAYERS 

A Collection of Entertainments for Children of All Ages 
Bj/ Edith Burrows, Gladys Ruth Bridgham and others 
This volume offers eight entertainments, old and new, intended for the 
use of schools and carefully selected to that end. Cleanliness and dra- 
matic interest have been the chief criteria in selection, but the effort has 
also been made, where this could be done without obtruding it, to embody 
improving suggestion. Tlie wise youngsters of this advanced generation 
scent a " moral'' afar off and are prone to repel its stern advances, but it 
is always possible to surround the pill of improvement with a palatable 
jam of fun. Price, 2j cents 

CONTENTS 

The Key. 16 io/j, 17 ^/r/j. Pat's Excuse, j hoy, i girl. 

The Children's Hour, y toys, 12 girls. Grammar School Fun. ly boys, Vj girls. 

School Opera. ^ boys, ^ girls. A Temperance Frolic. 3 boys,ii girli. 

"ack and the Beanstalk. 3 boys, 3 girls. and chorus. 



^ 



ouquet of Rose Spirits. 8 boys, 18 

girls. 

CLEVER COMEDIES 

For Female Characters 
A Collection of Selected Entertainments for Ladies Only by 
Popular Authors 
This collection gives an admirable opportunity to make choice at a 
small cost of an entertainment for schools or amateur theatricals. All the 
pieces that it contains have been successful as independent books and are 
very varied in casts and character. Price, 2j cents 

CONTENTS 

A Corner in Strait-Jackets. 8 ladies Gaffer Grey's Legacy. 8 ladies. 

and 3 children. The Governess. 3 ladies. 

The Dairy-Maids' Festival. Any The Grecian Bend. 7 ladies. 

number of young ladies. A Sad Mistake. 6 ladies and chtruS' 

A Daughter-In-Law. 4 ladies. Slighted Treasures. 4 ladies, 

Bliza's Bona-Fide Offer. 4 ladies. To Meet Mr. Thompson. 8 ladln. 



Should be played by 
boys sixteen and 
seventeen years 
old. 



A REGULAR RAH 1 RAH ! BOY 

A Comedy in Three Acts 
By Gladys Ruth Bridgham 
Fourteen male characters, sixteen or seventeen years old. Costumes, 
moaern ; scenery, two interiors. Plays an hour and three-quarters. An 
ingenious and interesting story of football politics, into the plot of which 
the " movies " enter as a detective agency. Fred Williamson's unex- 
pected talents as a photo-play comedian get him into all kinds of trouble. 
Full of the true college atmosphere, lively, bright and a sure hit. Strongly 
recommended. Price, 2j cents 

CHARACTERS 

Le Roy ^kiggs, cafitain of the football team' 
Sam Bigelow, centre 
Fred Williamson, quarter back 
Hakold Smith, half back 
Philip Ainsworth, sub 
Dick. Colton, sub. 
Russell Sydney ] 

Leonard Ferguson > Juniors. 
Stephen Reynolds j 

Clayton Kmo, football coach and instructor in Milford Academy. 
Murphy, trainer. 
Mr. Deane, an instructor. 

Alexander Norton, Manager of the Star Moving Picture TJieatre 

Jimmy Colton, Dick' s little brother, " a regular rah I rah! boy." 

Extra schoolboys and visitors for acts two and three. 

ON THE QUIET 

A Comedy in I'vvo Acts 

By Gladys Ruth Bridgham 
Twelve male characters. Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interion 
Plays an hour and a half. A picturesque and exciting story of the 
Maine Woods. Some Dartmouth freshmen, camping out, become the 
victims of a practical joke by one of their number who tires of the unex- 
citing life of the camp. They discover a note telling of a brutal murder 
in the woods and in their pursuit of the criminal through clews ingeniously 
furnished by the joker, they get a lot of inoffensive people into a sad 
mix-up, with the aid of Jeremiah Hincks, a rustic Sherlock Holmes. 
Very swift and lively and strongly recommended. Price, 2^ cents 

HIRAM JONES' BET 

A Farce in One Act 
By May E. Countryman 
One male, two females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, an interior. 
Plays twenty minutes. Hiram Jones, an incurable maker of bets, in- 
veigles two ladies into making wagers with him in regard to the loan of a 
patent egg-beater ; he thinks that he has a safe thing on both, but dis- 
covering his plot, the ladies get together and so arrange matters that he 
loses both bets. Very lively, bright and funny and a sure thing with an 
audience. Price, ij cents 



THE BOY SCOUTS 

A Play for Boys in Three Acts 

By Walter Ben Hare 

Twenty males. Scenery, unimpprtant; costumes, scout and modern. 
Plays two hours. Worth refuses to vote for Tony as a new scout because 
the latter is poor, but Tony shows in the end that lie is a true scout and 
wins his election. This simple motive underlies lots of characteristic fun 
and stunts, and ofTers as a whole a very vigorous and sympathetic picture 
of the Boy Scout practices, motives, and ideals. Strongly recommended. 
Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Stewart Nipper, known as Nip. 

Fred Tuck, known as Tuck. 

Dick Randolph, the patrol leader. 

WoRTHiNGTON LEONARD, a rich boy, 

Tony Ardis, a poor boy. 

Jakie Stein, with business instincts. 

Chubby Childs, who don' t care if he is fat. 

Watermelon Jackson, a lazy coon. 

Mrs. Watermelon Jackson, and her seven little coons. {May bi 

omitted. ) 
LiPPY Scudder, who thinks he's a hero. 
Bub Waldron, going on seven. 
Jack Hall, assistant patrol leader. 
Plupy Higgins, who likes to study. 
Lee Waldron, <iome athlete. 
Tom Redwav, who plays the piano. 
Shorty, Harry, Charley, Will and Frank, other Boy Scouts. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act L — The meeting of the Boy Scouts of America. Nip and 
Tuck. 
Act H. — A rehearsal in the gym. The stunts of the Scouts. 
Act IIL — Same as Act I. Swearing in the new tenderfoot. 



AUNT ABIGAIL AND THE BOYS 

A Farce in One Act 

By Lillie Fuller Merriam 

Nine males, two females. Scene, an interior ; costumes, modern. 
Plays one hour. Aunt Abigail, who hates boys, visits Gerald in college 
and finding him dressed in female costume for theatricals takes him for 
his sister Geraldine. Things are badly mixed up when his friends turn 
up and see the situation, but in the end Aunty is wholly cured of he* 
(lishke for the "boys." Lively and amusing; recommended for school| 
Price, IS cents 



HUSBANDS ON APPROVAL 

A Comedy in Three Acts 
By IV. M. Blatt 
Six males, four females. Costumes, modern ; sceneiy, two interiors. 
Plays a full evening. Nancy has a theory that a girl ought to know more 
about a man than is usual before she becomes engaged to him, so she in- 
vites four of her admirers to spend a month as guests in her family. One 
becomes engaged to her sister, another to the housemaid, and the third to 
her mother, but she manages to save the fourth. Refined Irish comedy 
part. Strongly recommended. Royalty for amateur performance, ^lO.OO 
for one, ^15.00 for two performances. 

Price, JO cents 

CHARACTERS 
Nancy Glover, juvenile lead. 
Rita Glover, her sister ; ingenue. 
Mrs. Glover, her mother ; about forty. 
Catherine, a handsome Irish girl of twenty ; maid. 
Hamilton Seaver, ati aristocratic, self-satisfied and good-looking 

man of twenty-one. 
Robert Devon, a good-looking, agreeable man of twenty-three. 
Col. Maynard Rowe, a soldierly ynan of indefinite age. 
Richard Fitzgerald, a handsome, rollicking, careless Irishman, 

about twenty-five. 
Samuel Rutherford Glover, a boy of nineteen ; college type. 
Kratz, a German mechanic, in working clothes and with straggling 

chin beard, 

A CASE FOR SHERLOCK HOLMES 

A Comedy in Two Acts 
By Gladys Ruth Bridgham 
Ten female characters. Costumes modern ; scene, an easy interior. 
Plays one and a half hours. Eugenia Michalford plans to have hef 
bridesmaids' supper at her aunt's, who is the keeper of a lighthouse away 
off on a remote island. The merry party run into exciting times pro- 
vided by Jerry Hautch, a fugitive from justice, who is thought to have 
taken refuge on the island. Helen Pinckley, a born detective, under- 
takes his capture and detects almost everything except the criminal. 
Bright, breezy and amusing ; recommended for schools. 
Price, 2J cents 

CHARACTERS 

Eugenia Michalford, the bride. 

WiLiFRED Sherman, the maid of honor. 

Olive Lovering 

Helen Pinckley 

Julia Marden 

Ruth Winship 

EsTELLE Freeman 

Margaret Mallory^ 

Cyrene Whitcomb, Eugenia's aunt. 

Lavinia, sixteen years, old. 



■ bridesmaids. 



HIS FATHER'S SON 

A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Gladys Ruth Bridgham 
Fourteen males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. Plays an 
hour and three-quarters. Free of royalty. Douglas Doyle, a pupil at 
Maplehurst School, discovers that he is being supported in luxury by the 
hard work and self-sacrifice of his father, who has not let him know that 
he has lost all his fortune. He leaves school at once, though by doing so 
he falls under suspicion of theft. This news reaches his father before he 
does and leads to a misunderstanding ; but Douglas gets a trial assign- 
ment on his father's paper, makes a big " scoop," and is finally set right 
in all ways. Very sympathetic and effective. Strongly recommended. 
Price, 2J cents 

CHARACTERS 

Nathan Doyle, reporter on the "Boston Daily News." 

Douglas Doyle, his son ; Junior at Maplehurst. 

Hiram McBinney. 

Jerry McBinney, his son. 

Lancello Griffith, reporter on the "News." 

Jim O'Calahan, city editor of the "News." 

Timothy Glenn, office boy. 

Philip Crane, head jnaster of Mapkhursi. 

Harrison Fiske, his assistant. 

Harry Atkins 

John Hartwell 

Horace Russell \ Juniors at Maplehurst. 

Raymond Sears 

Ordway Mitchell 

Plays One Hotir and Three- Quarters 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Douglas Doyle and John Hartwell's room — Maple 
hurst Preparatory School, about fifty miles from Boston, 

Act II. — Nathan Doyle's room in a Roxbury lodging-hohse , 
evening of the same day. 

Act III. — The same a week later. 

Time. — November of any year. 



SCHMERECASE IN SCHOOL 

A Character Entertainment in Two Scenes 

By George P. Seller 

Nine males. Costumes, modern and eccentric ; scenery, unimportant. 

Plays about an hour. No royalty. A burlesque school entertainment, 

introducing songs and specialties. Equally suited for boys and men. 

Ends with a minstrel circle, and may be used for an introduction to such 

an entertainment. A capital burlesque, strongly recommended. 

Price, ij cents 



J1. 01* Pinets>'$ Plays 

Price, 50 0ctite Eacb 



Min THANNFI Play m Four Acts. Six males, five females. 
*'*•*'"*'**•'**'*'"" Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays two and a half hours. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH ^.ir^^.Tt 

males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. 
Plays a full evening. , 

THF PRHFIinATF Play in Four Acts. Seven males, five 
AllLi 1 l\V/l Ij1\I/\ 1 Li females. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
elaborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF ^rHOni MI^TDFQQ Farce in Three Acts. Ninemales, 
inii 0\.<nvrV7L.lT110 1 IVEii^O seven females. Costumes, mod- 
ern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY IJg\T£ii;^rv^e 

females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
lull evening. 

CWpCT f A VFNnPR Comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, 
ailLdtal Ltixy LjIJUCjIX four females. Scene, a single interior, 
flostumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF THITWnFRRni T Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, 
in£i inUlliy£>IVDV/LiI nine females. Scenery, three interi- 
ors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF TllWF^ Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
■ "*-• I Il'lIjiJ Scene. a single interior; costumes, modern. Plays 
a full evening. 

THF WFAITFR ^FY Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, 
1 111:1 TT d/lIVEiIV >j£iA. eight females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE ^Te'^J^^^J^rflJ^ll: 

Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Walttv ^. pafeer & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



^^ *%**'»»' '^A 015 793 074 6 

C|)e S^iUiam Wvixxt\\ Hi^iMvxuw 
of Papfi; 



AC TAIT I IITP IT Comedy In Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
BiS IWU I4am II females. Costnmes, picturesque ; scenery, va- 
ried. Plays a full evening. 

#»|M|f f C Drama in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. Oos- 
VAJUlLfUC tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening. 

INfiOMAtt Play In Five Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
inuUinitA Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 

MADV STITADT Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
OlAIVl iJlUAni males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE S>XsSLl7etnl!:L- IV^^^, 

pioturesquo ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

DirHFl IFIT Play in Five Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- 
l\lvUI<ML>U ery elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a full 
evening. 

THF RIVAT^ Comedy In Five Acts. Nine males, five females. 
1 liC HI T AhS Scenery varied ; costumes of the period. Plays a 
full evening. 



SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER SX'U? ^'"' '"'''• 



Fifteen 
females. Scenery va- 
ried ; costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 

TWELHH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL ""^^^^^JUi:, 



three females. 
(all evening. 



Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Salter 1^. "Bafeer & Compani? 

Ro. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 

a. J, PARKHILL a CO.. PRINTERS, BOSTON. U.S.A. 



A 



LIBRARY OF 



CONGRESS 



015 793 074 6 



